Jesus, here I am, Your favorite one...

The title is just the current song being played in the Prayer room here in Kansas City, Missouri at IHOP (International House of Prayer). I'm currently writing this one Kyle Swope's $1200 MacBook Pro. Apparently her name is Natasha (?).
And yet again, I come to K.C with generally more question than answers. That usually happens. I really got this whole K.C pushed into my lap. I do realize I had the option to say yes or no, but in reality there was no way I was going to say no. I don't generally pass up a chance to come to K.C if I can help it, especially with the school allotting us a budget to cover the gas money to get here. My bank account was a little larger than it normally is, so I said yes. Glory prayed for 8 people and 8 people came out.
Jacob, Kyle and Nathan bonded with Josh Mills in a way I never expected. So many inside jokes this time around.
The girls were more on their own.
Either way, they all ate up the prayer room as most do. Willingness is key and I sense most of them are.
It's fun to see them experience this for the first time, and yet I definitely feel the need to fulfill the "caretaker" role on them, protect them and encourage them. I don't agree with everything that goes on here at IHOP. Some life style choices are a bit extreme considering people's past, and yes I believe in FREEDOM but that doesn't mean the freed alcoholic can hang around the bar everyday. Where's the wisdom?
It seems I'm still plagued with guilt over old things. I in no way have peace about certain things and wonder if I'll ever have peace over them. I just don't understand sometimes, and with this whole Christianity thing, the line between right and wrong can be blurred so much. You wouldn't think so, but it is.
But God has allowed me to bless people while I've been here which is always something I cherish. Conversations with old friends (Josh, Wes, Eric, Lilly) are among the things I look forward to most while being here. And being in the prayer room goes without saying. (Randomly, Mike Bickle, the founder of IHOP is in the prayer room currently. Very random. Some day I'd like to have a sit down with him and talk, but I doubt it will ever happen. Maybe he'll approach me? )
Blah, my spirit is just at such unrest. I don't know why. There's something there, and I'm not too sure what it is.
God of Jacob, will you wrestle with me?