On Christ The Solid Rock I Stand.....

In me, there is a great sadness. One that has been growing at an ever-increasing rate. Someone once said this wouldn't be easy. Someone once said this won'tl be a piece of cake. They also said it would be this hard. They talked about the ever-present loneliness, the vast absence that once was filled by ignorance.

I didn't believe them.

But now I know.

I can no longer be ignorant about my generation, about my friends, about my family. And since I can no longer live blissfully unaware, I live painfully aware.

I understand Freedom. I understand Christ died to forgive our sins. We have been set free of our prison. So, now that we're outside, now that our shackles are gone, what's next? What is Freedom? The ability to do something. What separates those who are outside of the prison from those still trapped inside? Those outside are Free to do something. What should our response to Freedom be? Should we set out to find yet another prison to be trapped? Should we live in a state of disbelief that our shackles are actually gone, that we have suddenly found ourselves in the light? Should we continue to fight for something we already have? It reminds me of the saying "It was in the last place I looked." (note: this is in reference to something actually being in the last place you looked. Not the last option of somewhere to look, just the thing being in the last place you looked. ) Of course it's in the last place you looked. You're not going to search for your wallet, and upon finding it, continue to look for it. Sometimes, I feel this is exactly what we as Christians are attempting to do with our salvation. Christ has died for us, we are forgiven of our sins and yet some of us are still attempting to live our lives in such a way as to still "attain" our salvation. Yes, we live outside the prison walls, but we still feel the need to live in such a way as to remove the shackles that aren't even there! The shackles are gone. You've been forgiven of your sins. So exercise your freedom. It's really a simple concept.

This idea of Freedom is not hard. This idea of obedience, of God speaking to you, is not hard. You can ask all the questions you'd like about "Well, how does it work? What will it sound like? How will I know for sure?" I cannot answer those questions for you. You can look at a lake, questioning whether the water is too cold or too warm, or whether you'll drown or not, or whether there are fish in there. Or...you could jump in and find out for yourself. Talk to Him, not me. Listen to Him. So often times, we're more than happy to talk, but find so much discomfort in the still silence of listening. Of course you can't hear him, you're too busy talking. Are we afraid of the silence? Are we afraid of what we will hear if we're quiet. Maybe that's why we're quick to speak, but slow to listen. Are we afraid of what we'll hear?

What do you think? I've never really asked for comments and very few have left any but I'm asking you, as a reader, to respond.

God....

is such an artist. Seriously, did anyone else see the sunset tonight? And that's just one sunset in one place! How many more does He create every single day, all around the world in different time zones in different climates. I just laughed so hard when I realized that. Some friends and I went down to the river to watch the sunset and it was phenomenal. I miss them quite a bit. I have to thank my friend Lilly for my appreciation of sunsets/sunrises and stars. If you ever get a chance, sit outside and watch them. They are awe-inspiring.

sorry

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
i am so so so so so so sorry.

Train Thoughts

Sitting backward on a train is kind of like life
You can see where you've been, and where you are
but not where you're going
And where you are turns into
Where you've been, and suddenly
Where you're going is where you are
faster than you can deal with.
Seriously, slow down.
Quick as a calm, cool cucumber.
Once in a while you stop
Leave some things behind
Pick some things up
Some you want, some you don't
Yeah, sitting backwards on a train
is definitely like life.